Under Pressure

video courtesy of YouTube

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking.
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?

A few days ago, I wrote here about something that happened to me for the very first time in my sex life. It was a condition that not a lot of guys will readily admit to (wait for it!): sexual performance anxiety. And I kinda figured out why I had that that time. It's just me pressuring myself all along. 

I have a tendency to over-think sometimes and that day was one particular occasion. I was pressured by the idea that this guy is expecting a lot from me and I have to measure up to it (so to speak) in an attempt to satisfy and do a job well done. Or at least a pat on the bum. These kinds of thoughts distract the mind and result in inattentiveness, hence diverting attention from the pleasure part of the act.

That was what was wrong. I did a couple of further readings on the topic on the Interwebs (since I'm a believer of self-help options but mostly it is stinginess in my part) and found another good legit read. It mentioned there something about talking it over with your sex partner. I may just be a very lucky guy since we can openly and objectively discuss such things over without feeling awkward. We have smoothed out some things and his open-mindedness was very helpful for me. Also helpful was when he told me the things I did to him *wink* that he really liked. Communication was the key. And so, we will give it another shot. Innuendo intentional.

Finally, this line from the website hit it spot on:  

"... take it easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed." 

HELL TO THE YEAH-EH! Why was I pressuring myself when I know what I can do masterfully? After that conversation over Twitter, I totally got over it and boosted my self-confidence back to its normal levels. I was, shall we say, locked and loaded and ready to roll!

Sharing this experience publicly was not meant to stir anything nor to just draw empty attention. Rather, I hope it can serve as something helpful for the others who experience sexual performance anxiety every now and then in their lives. It's something normal and it can happen to a lot of people - men, women, gay, lesbian, or whatever-it-is-you-like-to-stick-in-yourself.  And there is no harm in admitting that. The first step to solving problems is admission. And courage is needed to do that. Help will always be available. Just ask for it.

No pressure. Enjoy the ride!